I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
