you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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