Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize