Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
