I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
