but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
