I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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