I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
