I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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