As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
