She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
