All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
