I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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