Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
