We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
