Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
