They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
