I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
