Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
