two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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