Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
