I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize