glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
