where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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