Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
