I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
this is an emotional support booty call
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
