Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
