woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
