Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
