my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
