I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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