Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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