some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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