I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
