I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
