I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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