Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
