I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
