Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
