would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
