i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
