I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
