So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
