If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
