so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
nutella sex= disaster
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
