are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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