yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
A bitchslap is in order.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
