C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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