Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
