haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
