Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
